one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
