can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
