Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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