please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
