Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
