I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He has the fingertips of a God
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