We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
