At least make sure they are 18
Why
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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