We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
