we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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