Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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