K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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