The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
