just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i came on her dog
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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