I heard we made out
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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