he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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