he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people