If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs