He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN