No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed