I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
