Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
