3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize