She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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