eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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