Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
