O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
