i permit you to call me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
