i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
