Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
