nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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