Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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