he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
