fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize