there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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