she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
