If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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