just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
