dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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