I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
