Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would ride that face into the sunset
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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