idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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