i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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