D3 body, D1 cock
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
