the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
