I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
