I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
