I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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