I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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