I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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