We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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