Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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