Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize