I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
