Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
