my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize