Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
